Sunday, 1 July 2012

Things that make me go hmmm...

There are some things in this world that I cannot make sense of or explain, and some moments in life that have really made me stop and think. Here are just a few:

People who don't care for chocolate. What the????

Math. Numbers and numerical reasoning were never my strong points.

Superglue. Why is it that I always manage to glue my fingers together?

Arrogance and ignorance. Dangerous on their own, positively lethal when combined.

Office politics. Honestly, where do people find the time and energy to engage in this?

Corporate jargon. A trap between necessity and absurdity, and can be a source of hilarity (particularly when it’s taken so seriously).

Karma. There really is something to this.

Listening to your gut. Same as above.

Why everything that tastes so good is not really good for you. It's like nature's cruel little joke.

The compulsion to:
  • Check your phone for any emails and messages the minute you get out of bed; and
  • Respond to work emails and calls late at night, on the weekend or while on holiday.
Why some people think the concept of time doesn't apply to them.

The fact that I actually like brussels sprouts.

Allen’s Pineapple Lollies. Where have these little bundles of sugary goodness gone?  

My complete lack of spatial ability (to MOH’s, aka My Other Half’s, utter despair).

Double-lane roundabouts. These are just accidents waiting to happen.

My fear and loathing of driving (somewhat related to the previous two points).

Having numerous pairs of ballet flats – to quote MOH “but you don’t even do ballet!”.  

Racism and any other form of discrimination. So ugly and unnecessary.

On that note, those who complain about immigration and multiculturalism in one breath, but will happily scoff a Chinese, Thai, Indian, Italian, Lebanese or any other ethnic meal in the next. It’s a minor thing but you can’t have it both ways, people!

Those who travel overseas and spend the whole time complaining that things are not like they are “back home” or wondering why “they don’t speak English here”.  

Certain celebrities, like:
  • Lindsay Lohan - this girl needs serious help;
  • Charlie Sheen - it seems that being a tool can still earn you a cool $100 Million; and
  • Kim Kardashian - love her or hate her, you’ve got to admit that you can’t look away from her.
Waxing. Only human beings will allow another person to pour hot wax on their skin and rip it off.

Sour Cream & Chive Pringles. It is really true that “once you pop you can't stop”!

Harem pants ala MC Hammer. Does anyone (apart from Kate Moss) look good in these?

Getting pimples at my age. Surely the time for this has well and truly passed?

Looking at that number on the scale. How did it get to that point? Perhaps the family-sized pack of M&M’s wasn’t such a good idea...

Lying to the trainer at the gym. Of course I didn’t eat all the cheesecake (just half).

Customer service consultants or snooty waiters at fancy restaurants who act like they’re the ones doing you a favour.   

Cricket. How can one sporting game keep going for five, long – veryvery long – days?   

The doctor leaving the room while you undress to give some you ‘privacy’. They’re going to see you in pretty much all your glory anyway when they return.

Alanis Morisette’s song “You Oughta Know”. Whoa! That must’ve been one hell of a break-up.

When governments make decisions that negatively impact healthcare and education, making it harder for these two fundamental pillars of society to be accessible to all. 

People who lack emotional intelligence. How do they manage to get through life? Though I suppose if you are completely ignorant of the impact of your behaviour on others then you probably have a pretty good life. That’s the beauty of having no accountability.

When religion is used as an excuse for one's actions and behaviour. Your God is either a loving God, who has the capacity to love and accept everyone without exception, or a vengeful God. Take your pick. You cannot have it both ways. That’s just hypocritical.

The moment in your life when you realise your parents are not infallible and are simply ordinary people just like everyone else.

Following on from that, learning that you cannot keep blaming your parents for all the problems of the world. As one very wise person wrote, “your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over”.

People who order a chicken caeser salad (complete with bacon, croutons and creamy dressing) and a diet coke. I hate to burst their bubble, but that’s not healthy!

Food products that are labelled as "99% fat-free". Compared to what? A chocolate mud cake? It’s all relative.

Fat-free, soy milk, decaf cappuccino. To quote the menu of one of our favourite cafes – “why bother?”

Finally, one of my pet hates, public toilets. Flush, people, flush! It’s not that hard. Don’t even get me stated on those who don’t wash their hands...

What about you? What are the things that make you go hmmmm? 

1 comment:

  1. This is brilliant. I also have the problem with the superglue. Shawn